I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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