I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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