Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
