this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
