Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
