I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
