I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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