Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
