Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
