whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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