you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
