She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
