i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
