i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
