Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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