Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
