my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
