Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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