At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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