Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
