What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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