we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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