why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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