Nicole vs. Life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize