Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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