we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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