I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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