Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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