I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Non-Jews are for practice
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
