There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
