My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
