Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
