You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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