thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
