She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
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