Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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