I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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