that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
