please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
