if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
