Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

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(404): View more from Georgia

He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying

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(434): View more from Virginia

It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.

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