we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
