billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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