Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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