What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
