Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
