I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
