Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
