Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize