Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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