I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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