Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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