He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He had one of those small greek statue penises
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
