we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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