You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
