is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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