I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize