Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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