The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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