White coat. Heels.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
