I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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