I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
